NEWS NEWS NEWS

II’m engaged!!! :) AHHHHH! My family is going to become one!

Where has the time gone?

WOAH I am still here. Let me tell you, being a mom is no joke. Being a mom and working is hard. Being a mom, working, and going to school….WOWWSSERZZZZ. It’s a hard job. But nonetheless, I’m kicking butt at it. I’m just going to update you on my life so far, if you have questions regarding before, just comment and I’ll answer you!

Well Christmas just ended, and that was another whole circus. We had to go to my parents, Bill’s parents, bill’s grandparents and my grandparents. All in one day. It would work if we lived close, but we live about an hour apart every way you go. It was crazy. Santa did a great job this year. My son got tons of books. He loves reading. He didn’t get many toys because he doesn’t need anymore.

I am enjoying my new job. I am working in a YMCA with tons of kids. I love it. Bill is at home and hangs out with our son. I love having a break from school, but I wish I could just keep chugging through so I could finish sooner. Bill and I both made Dean’s List this past semester.  Listen anyone who says college is hard and that they can’t get good grades needs to think of another excuse. I HATE that. If I can do it with everything on my plate, you can do it too. Just do it!

What Was Our Future?

There were a lot of things we needed to figure out...and fast. Most people who have a baby already have their lives in order and know what is coming next. They are normally in a routine and are ready for a baby. We on the other hand were not ready. If any of you have ever been to college, you know that the apartment search starts the beginning of second semester for students. We were already in March. What happens if we didn't find a place to live? The bigger question was how in the heck do we pay for a place to stay? The dorms were paid for by loans, but would loans cover off campus housing? We sat down to talk about where we could live and what would be the best option. The only choice we had at the time was College Park. Sounds like a great place to raise a family...right? Being our only option, we had no choice. 

We went to talk to the landlord about prices and what apartment would best suit us. They were having a special of a three bedroom at a two bedroom price. I figured why not. We may need that extra room for storage. We didn't sign the lease right away, because it would cost us $13,000 to live in this apartment for 9 months. Not even a whole year. We thought about it for a little but time was running out. We didn't have a lot of time before school was done for the summer to figure it out. We decided to go ahead and sign the lease. We had no idea how much money we would be getting back, but we didn't have a choice. 

We finished out the school year and that's when things got complicated. He and I did not agree on anything. We broke up over the summer because we didn't get to see each other at all, and his parents didn't want us to keep the child. They wanted us to have an adoption. I'm not against adoption, but there is no way I could do it. I love being around children and the thought of not know what mine was doing or how he was growing up frightened me. We both didn't want someone else raising our child. We had sex. We needed to take the responsibility for it. The summer was really hard. It's hard to mesh two different ideas into one, especially when we weren't expecting to have a child. 

We had an awful summer. We both kind of went our separate ways, but we still talked to each other. I honestly cannot remember why things were such a big deal. I think I was mad because his parents wouldn't let him see me and he didn't think he needed to be at any of the appointments. I wanted him there, and I don't think he understood why. I thought we were supposed to both be excited and both WANT to do things. I know we also fought about money and how I was doing a lot of our child, and it seemed like he didn't want to believe it was actually happening. He ended up talking to his ex again. He said he wanted someone to make him feel better. As if I wasn't mad enough. Lol. ( I laugh at this stuff now because things are totally different than they were a year from today). I don't know how many times I flipped out. 

A side-note- to those of you who have been or are pregnant. You cannot control your mood swings. It's the worst things ever. The hormones just want to ruin your life and make everything more difficult. With him not being around me all summer, he had no idea how to handle my emotions or mood swings. It turned into a lot more arguing. 

As summer passed, we realized we still had to live together. Great exactly what I wanted. Thank goodness we had the three bedroom apartment, because I slept in the spare room for quite awhile. We needed our space. You can't throw two people back together after they haven't been together for three months, and expect everything to be great. We got into another huge argument because rent had to be paid before we moved in. We both owed $3,300 before we could even move in. We both didn't have the money. We both worked all summer, but still didn't have that type of money. We were able to write hold checks and then we had a late fee of $165 more. I didn't want to have that, so my parents paid for mine, and he wrote a hold check. We had a certain amount of days to pay the remainder. Y'all are probably wondering how in the heck we could afford to do this. When you live off-campus at most state universities, you will get a refund check back from the school because your loans, grants, and scholarships already cover everything, so you get the remainder. 

We expected his to be able to cover the rest of the rent. Well it didn't. He didn't even get close to that amount. This was when things started to get bad. I didn't know how we were going to be able to come up with the money and we still needed to buy our child some things. I ended up getting a lot more back because I put on my FAFSA I was expecting a child. Thankfully my refund paid my parents back and the rest of his rent. (At the time I was pretty ticked I had to give him my money to pay for rent.) But in the end, we needed a place to live, so I kind of had too. 

We still were not getting along like we should be. It was definitely awkward in the apartment, because we didn't know what to say to each other, and we didn't really care. It was like that for about a month. Didn't talk about things unless we had too. Didn't know what to say. Small talk was about it. That was until we decided we needed to figure things out for the sake of our child. At school they offer free counseling to any student who is enrolled. I emailed them all to see if anyone would be willing to do a couples session. I explained that we want to get on the same page for our child before he is born. I received an email back within a couple days saying they would work with us and to contact the counselor to set up an appointment. I told him about it, and he didn't seem thrilled, but it was what we needed. It was what our son needed. 

Stay tuned for what happened next. I have got to get some sleep. 

XOXO

I'm Back!!!

Sorry I have been MIA for the passed couple days. We just got moved into our new house! I'm so excited to finally have a house. I will be on later to make a new post! Sorry for the wait! :)

The Next Step- Telling Our Parents

This was the scariest part of my entire pregnancy. I didn't want to tell my parents. I knew they would be disappointed in me. I didn't want them to think I wouldn't finish school and that I had ruined my whole life. (A baby made my life so much better.)* My family has had people become pregnant out of wedlock before, but not my boyfriend's family. And on top of that his father is a pastor. Hence why this was the scariest part of my pregnancy. 

March 23, 2013 was the day I couldn't hide it from my parents any longer. My boyfriend and I were on Spring Break, and this was the last day before we headed back to school that evening. I woke up and I texted him and said, "I have to tell them." He didn't want me too because he knew my parents would want his parents to know, and he wasn't ready to tell them. I couldn't wait. I had to tell mine. I waited until my dad took my brother and sister to Sunday school, and I went out of my bedroom and told my mother. She started crying. I didn't want them to be mad or upset, but I knew they would. I can't remember exactly everything she said, but it was something about I basically messed up my life. 

Now any parent's first reaction is something a long these lines. I don't know any parent who would be happy that their nineteen year old daughter is pregnant her freshman year of college. My mom and dad are super supportive of me now that they see having a child hasn't stopped me from doing anything and everything I want and need too. 

My dad came home from taking my siblings to Sunday school, and when I told him he was just shocked. No good news and no bad news. The awkward silence was the worst. I didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to say. There wasn't anything that was going to make the situation easier. It was stagnant. He finally said he supported me and wanted the best for me. It would be hard but he wanted me to stay in school.

As for Bill's parents, that was a whole different story. They were as supportive as they could be but not much. His dad was worried about his reputation as the pastor. He didn't want his son to have a child out of wedlock. (Of course, what pastor or parent wants that). It happened and to this day they still aren't over it. It's not an easy thing, but at some point you've got to move on and embrace what God has given you. Hopefully someday. 

Now that we told our parents, we had to start planning for the future...what that was, we had no idea. 

Abortion. No Matter What. - The Planned Parenthood Project

Beginning of my Pregnancy

My boyfriend and I started dating in October 2012. We never even talked about having kids; we barely talked about getting married. I was a freshman in college. No one thinks like that. As time went on, we obviously talked about a future because really, what are you in a relationship for if you don't see a future (of some sort) with that person. So, we talked about seeing each other together for while, but never anything definite. No one said, "Let's plan the wedding for a summer night in July." It was not THAT serious, but serious enough.

I was on birth control when I got pregnant. Yes, it actually happens. I found out I was pregnant on March 5th, 2013. (Yes, I remember these dates because they drastically changed my life.) Roughly a month before that it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday, so I threw him a surprise birthday party. I had one drink, and that one drink mixed with birth control didn't work out. The alcohol was counteractive with the birth control. That's why they say don't drink and take an antibiotic. Well low and behold a month later, I was late on my period. Now any girl who finds out she's pregnant will tell you, they just had a feeling. That's what I had. A feeling. I couldn't explain it. I was on a new birth control, so it was still adjusting itself to my body. I thought my period was still trying to regulate itself. But, I just had a strange feeling. Honestly you can't explain it.

We went to Wal-Mart that night, bought the pregnancy test, and went home. I told my boyfriend I would do it in the morning. (I had heard that the results are more accurate in the morning.) I could barely sleep because in my head, I knew I was pregnant. And no I didn't do this on purpose. I just kept running through everything in my head. I knew it. Morning came, he got a shower, and I went to the bathroom. Not even 30 seconds after I peed on the stick, I saw two pink lines. One was fainter than the other, so I wasn't really sure what that meant. I was expecting two bright pink lines. I waited until he got out of the shower to tell him the news (not that I really knew what the news was exactly). He came in and I said, "I think I'm pregnant, but I'm not sure." He had a really confused look on his face. I showed him the test with the two pink lines on it, and we both started crying.

What were we going to do? We still have college. How are we going to finish college? So many thoughts.

We composed ourselves enough to call Adagio Health and schedule an appointment for a test through them. We went there the next morning, and it was true. I was pregnant. I started crying in the exam room. The nurse was kind enough to tell me that I had options. The first one she brought up was abortion.

**I'm going to digress for a second...Who in the heck brings up abortion as the first option! I get that I was shocked and upset, but you DO NOT bring up abortion as the first option. Students in school will jump on that idea because they are so vulnerable. It's completely absurd that they will use that to their advantage and act like it's no big deal.**

I will not lie. The idea of not having a baby did cross my mind. I was sitting there running through the options in my head. What to do what to do. The nurse proceeded to tell me that they could set the appointment up while I was there. Out of fear and desperation, I set the appointment up.

All day long I thought about what had happened. I was quiet and reserved all day. I couldn't believe this happened to me. I talked to my boyfriend about everything and we decided to call a pregnancy counselor. We contacted Bethany Christian Services to set up an appointment to meet the next day. We met with two wonderful ladies at a local restaurant to discuss with them our concerns. They first questioned why we set up the appointment if we are Pro-Life. I didn't have a solid answer. I felt ashamed that I even set the appointment up. Why would I subject my unborn child to that? Why did the thought even cross my mind? I'm not that type of person. They were there to completely inform us about the other two options: parenting and adoption.

We couldn't picture ourselves putting our child up for adoption. We would want to be too involved. Even though with an open adoption, you can pick how involved you would want to be, ours would have ended up like they were only babysitting our child. I didn't want to do that to our child. Either way our child needed parents. Ones who want to be there. After discussing everything with them, my boyfriend and I talked a lot more about everything. I was still feeling like an idiot for being so vulnerable to fall for their stupid crap.

On that Friday, March 8th, I called and cancelled my appointment. No way would I let that happen. We decided we had to do what was best. In our minds, the best option was to parent this child that God blessed us with. I wish that other girls had the courage to stand up and say I can parent this child or I know someone who can parent this child. This child deserves a life, and if I can't give one to him, someone else can and will. Adagio knows they can "trap" young girls into thinking they "need" it. It's their "only" option. Please don't just jump into it. Look into all the aftermath when getting an abortion. Look into the different kinds, and please don't think you "need" to get one. God blessed you with a child. He doesn't just do things for nothing. I have recently found that out, and I will talk about that in another entry.

-As a side note- the nurse did tell me that even though the line was faint, it definitely meant I was pregnant. The second line picks up the new hormone* that exists now that there's a baby inside.

*not sure if that's the right word. I can't remember.

A Little More About Me

This blog is hopefully going to empower more parents to continue doing everything we already do and then some. There isn't a limit to what we can achieve. Each day the bar can be raised more and more. I want to see women and men who are parents succeed and give their child(ren) a life that they all can be proud of.

These past months haven't been easy but I've had a lot of opportunities within this time. I am very blessed. I thank God for every opportunity that comes my way. I live life thinking that the opportunities I get may never come again. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. Good because I get a lot of exposure to many things I'm proud of and have a lot of interest in. The bad part is I can get a bit overwhelmed.  I would rather be busy than bored. I constantly have to be doing something. Whether that be playing with my son, or housework. I say that now...and by the time bedtime comes around my bed is calling my name. If y'all have any questions to ask me. Please do not hesitate. If you want to know more on a specific topic. Don't hesitate either. Thanks. And goodnight! ❤

Intro to who I am

Hello everyone!

My name is Kelly and I’m a mom in college. I’m going to first tell you a little bit about myself and why I’m starting this blog. My life is anything but ordinary, but it’s my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. I’m majoring in Early Childhood, and he is majoring in Health Promotions. We both have jobs on campus which works out perfectly because with our crazy schedules, we need jobs that can be as flexible as we are. With a baby, school, jobs, bills, etc, it can be very stressful and very difficult. BUT we are doing it. We are doing the best that we can.

He and I had been dating for just five months before I found out I was pregnant. Our first thoughts were, “What are we going to do?” and “How are we going to finish school?” I’m going to fast forward because the next posts are going to be about how we achieved everything we wanted and needed to. Seven months after he was born, and I can tell you, it’s possible. Having a baby in college DOES NOT stop you from doing what you want to do and when you want to do it. Your plans are definitely changed, but you deal with it. I had a lot of people ask how I do everything. My answer is/was, “You just do it.” I had the choice to quit school and just get a job…but that’s not what I wanted and that’s not what my boyfriend wanted. We needed to stay in school. Our child deserves the chance to have parents with a college education. We are not giving up. I have two years left, and he has about one and a half. We will finish school. It’s not easy, but it’s worth every second.

I’m starting this blog because I am encouraging many parents in college not to give up. You can do it. You will do it. I don’t want people dropping out of college because they “think” it’s going to be too much work. I’m here to tell you it is a lot of work but you cannot give up on your child. Your child deserves to have the chance to succeed. As well as you. You can still succeed. It’s not over. I hate when people think it’s going to be too hard. Well stop having sex if you don’t want to handle the consequences. Life isn't over. You just need to find a different path to finish your goals. I am here for any and all questions that need to be addressed. I will list a ton of helpful websites and programs that help parents, mother and/or father, through school. Everyone wants you to succeed. Even the little one who may or may not be here yet. :)